Mister White Haired Man With The Silver Volvo

Dear Mister White Haired Man with the Silver Volvo,

I would like to sincerely thank you for the 2 new scratched that you gave my car yesterday in the Harris Teeter parking lot. I would like to specifically aknowledge the kindness you showed me when I pointed the incident out to you and you so very arrogantly said "Well.. you should not have left your shopping cart in the parking lot"

Maybe you did not believe me when I said, "I just got here. That is not my cart".. What really blew me away was when you let your car bump the cart so that it would jam up against the front of my car and leave me the gift of the two 5" scratches. But the kindness in assuming that I was the one who left it there was, beyond a doubt, unlike any other..

This heartwarming incident left me in a state of awe..I had no idea this respect was still very prevalent. I mean to not accept reponsibility, for something that was so very obviously your mistake, is one thing.. but to flip it on me as if I was at fault.. I applaud your nerve mister white haired man with the silver Volvo.

I was left speechless at your accusations.. but left motionless when you just took the cart, flipped your nose to the sky, and walked away as if nothing had happened...

Some said I should have scratched your car in retaliation.. some said I should have called the Police.. but you know what.. Mister white haired man with the silver Volvo..

My mother taught me to respect my elders..

Sincerely,

Nadiya

Ps. I ALWAYS return my shopping carts to their correct location..

something to rely on..

I was recently told that it’s easier, and in fact more fun, to live in emotional pain rather than take a chance at change..

I did not agree .. and this is what I had to say to that..

.. I think most people are afraid to be honest with their feelings and you are on the opposite extreme.. afraid to lose strong feelings.. and so you hold onto one emotion that you have mental control over.. and that you can always rely on.. which is Pain.. the trick is taking the risk to feel a more positive emotion.. rather than admit defeat to a more negative one for the rest of your life..

I find that a lot of people subconsciously keep themselves in a “painful” situation for a variety of reasons.. one being that they deep down feel as if they don’t deserve to be happy.. based on evidence in prior situations in their lives.. obviously nobody will say “I don’t deserve to be happy and so I will keep myself in the constant state of pain by whichever means possible”.. it is super subconscious but I see it a lot.. and was only able to see it in others after realizing it in myself.

maybe it’s an artist thing..

Feel right now...

There are times when it feels like we know how the story should end.. and because we hold dear to that, anything that indicates otherwise.. usually frustrates and upsets us (ok me).. It isn't always the happily ever after that we imagine it will be.. but if we (I) continue to think that it's one way or nothing.. we will never experience what could be a happier ending than we even thought possible... so here's to life and experiences .. laughing and loving.. and everything falling into place as it should.. in its right time..

Experience every moment to its fullest.. from the sweet nectar of the fruit you are biting into, that embraces your taste buds to the drops of cool summer rain rolling down your warm face.. stop and FEEL for a minute all that we take for granted.. all that we have.. and don't realize all too often..

Right now my feet are warm and cozy under my soft blanket after kissing my children goodnight.. and at this very moment that is my simple happiness ...

Better Days..

Hello world.. or perhaps just me ..

I just re-read my last entry and it was sorta down.. to say the least..

Sooooo .. I wanted to put a lil happy note out..

The weather today was simply wonderful.. I loooooove a good breeze in the warm sun :) Can't wait till the Spring comes and the Farmers Market comes to town every week again!

Some things that I did today that generally indicate that I am in a good mood..

-Pumped up the volume on a few songs in the car with the windows down and sang at the top of my lungs
-Laughed at myself a lot
-Finally took my bags and boxes of small clothes and unused toys to the thrift shop
-Vacuumed my car
-Got a nice car wash
-Took the kids to the lake
-Ate out with the kids on a school night (yep.. I obviously enjoy living on the edge)

.. I think that is all for now

Today was a good day. =D

Just a Bad Day

Everything seems to hurts today.. both inside and out..

You know it's a bad day when both you and each of your children have been put to tears at different times for all sorts of different reasons and in different locations.. all within a 5 hour time span..

..I hate to sound like a whiner when I know it could always be worse.

.. I can tell they (my children) sense my struggle lately and I feel it's been effecting them way more than normal.
Today my 6 year old asked me when I would get married again. I asked him, "why?" he said "I just want to have a father in the same house with us" ..I held back my tears and gave him a hug.

It's just been a rough day..

flashback

..to a time when I was about 9 years old and my parents were looking at what seemed to be 200 houses every weekend. We were going to make the move from our house in Maryland (where we were robbed twice and had a fire set in our trash can once) to Virginia..

Well one of the homes we looked through belonged to a family with a newborn.. and in their kitchen was a chair like the one in the picture above.. but it was tilted so that it looked like a bowl and the baby was laying in the middle.. just chillin.. the sun was beaming into that kitchen and ever since that moment I had it in my head that I wanted to get the same chair when I had a baby..

I never actually was able to .. at least not with the first 2.

Today I was browsing through the Pier 1 website ..I remember loving the things in Pier 1 ever since the first moment I stepped into a shop in Springfield (where we eventually moved to after all the house hunting).. I bought a small cloth change purse.. and saw that chair again..

Stumbling upon it again today.. I remember that moment so vividly...